3 Radical Mindsets to Unf**k your life (And get your life together)

This is Bob. He's just escaped the F**ked Valley and has his life finally unf**ked, for this moment at least. How did my life get to this place? (The F**ked Valley)

The f**ked valley is where I think most hard worker and people with high expectations of themselves go and end up dying. Its an unfortunate place where consistent failure robs us of the ability to envision a better future. This is spoken of by Tony Robbins as Learned Helplessness. But of course YOU don't have learned helplessness right? After all you're actually googling how to get out of it, so it must be mistaken a bit right?

Wrong unfortunately. Learned helplessness is a function of our beliefs, not of our actions. Using this basis, acting from a place of learned helplessness is possible, not acting from a place of learned helplessness is possible. The only thing that isn't possible, is moving out of learned helplessness without acting. Here's some simple questions to know if you have fallen unconsciously into a pattern of learned helplessness : 1. How much autonomy do you feel in your life? On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you feel as if you have the control in your life? 2. Of your last 4 or 5 major issues, how many were in some way your fault?

3. What degree of your 'stuckness' is directly related to something outside of your control, such as the government, women, parents, visa process etc... If you feel less than a 7 out of 10 on a daily basis, about the amount of control you have over your life, you're automatically in learned helplessness. If you've made it over that hump, and on number 2, less were your fault, then you've fallen into learned helplessness.

If you've made it to number 3, its pretty obvious by now I think.

The point I'm trying to make obvious to y'all is this... being in a f**ked position in life, is our OWN FAULT. (excluding the obvious uncontrollables like being born with defects, disease and dealing with disasters) . It may not be our fault that we got there to begin with, we're often given bad hands and made to place big bets, but it is ABSOLUTELY our fault if we're stuck there. It leads to giving away our power and cycling downward. Its a spiral to hell, but also a virtuous cycle up toward heaven, just going up takes more effort than going down initially.

Let's dive into the mindsets that can transform the way you perceive feeling stuck and unf**k your life quickly.

1. How to stop facing the same problem? - Radical Responsibility

Your life, your career, your rules. This mindset shifts every "fault" into a lesson. Missed a freelance opportunity? Perhaps your pitch could use refining. Not charging enough? It's an opportunity to find a way to add more value to your clients and charge more. Facing constant distractions? Maybe it's time to design a more productive workspace. By owning your situation, you turn problems into puzzles you're empowered to solve. This perspective is invaluable when dealing with things we can measure. Fighting for ownership of the problem gives you the ownership of the solution. In my own life, I've been overwhelmed and stressed daily for months due to overwork. Once I was able to accept that it was my own fault, not only for the tight time limit, but for the emotion I experience as well, I was able to use AI tools effectively, reorganize my calendar and place my emotional experience as a priority so that productivity felt rewarding.

2. How to stop being shocked by other's behaviors? - Radical Empathy

This is a page for business owners and freelancers, so the concept of "Understanding your client's deepest needs and frustrations can set you apart in a crowded market." is common place, but it also applies to anyone that you're sitting conversationally across from. There's a distinction I'd like to make for the newbies to the art of providing value however... Perception v.s. Perspective We all have our perception of the world. It's the lens through which we perceive the world, it houses our beliefs about why things work, why things don't work, what is and is not possible, the baggage from our childhood that shaped how we think humans operate, what we think of the working world, etc. Everyone has a perception. Its as unique to you as your fingerprint. Perspective however, is viewing the world THROUGH THE OTHER PERSONS PERCEPTION.

You aren't taking up another's perspective if you can't answer the 'why' of their actions and questions. It's not imperative to do this for everyone, but absolutely doing this allows you to act in a way that's beneficial for everyone, or brush things off when they don't go your way, which helps us escape the f**ked valley.

3. How to stop giving up ? - Prioritize Radical Reflection

Reflection is the secret weapon of the elite athlete; let it be yours too. Carve out time each week to review your accomplishments, challenges, and areas for growth. This isn’t about dwelling on what went wrong but strategizing on how to move forward. Tracking is best practice for things like this, but its not absolutely necessary, just a quick check in about how you're feeling at the start or end of each day, could help you build enough momentum to keep it up.

For freelancers, this could mean improving your marketing strategy, learning a new skill, or even refining your work-life balance. The goal is continuous improvement, ensuring that you're not just keeping up with the freelance world but setting the pace. Good luck not f**king up!